Monday, September 17, 2012

Day Two..

Day Two...

Today was definitely easier. Mostly because I am too physically exhausted to worry about anything else. Neither of the boys wanted to wake up for school this morning, even though they went to bed early. Maybe it was the rain because I didn't want to wake up either. I did stay up until 3am baking an anniversary cake for a friend (that matched the top of their wedding cake) and then watched repeats of 'Storage Wars' on the couch until I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I guess I was hoping for a message or phone call, even though I had already heard from him earlier. Can't be too hopeful! Laying in bed without your husband next to you just feels weird and completely wrong. I finally went upstairs to my bed at 6, when I woke Sebastian up for school. I fell asleep for about 30 minutes and caught myself rolling over to throw my leg over him. When I didn't feel him, I opened my eyes, almost expecting him to be up getting ready for work. You can't imagine the disappointment I felt. I guess it will take time before I don't expect him to be there. I really need to invest in a body pillow and dress it in his shirt, smothered in his cologne. I might actually get a little sleep. 

On a better note, I did manage to drag myself out of the house for a little bit and then watched a friends little guy for a few hours. He definitely reminded me how much baby proofing I have ahead of me! I have decided to make my own custom baby bedding. I found this image that I will pull my inspiration from. I will add more colors and maybe add some designer owl fabric. I'm thinkingof painting Brynzee's room pink and adding a turquoise chandelier =] I wish Matt was here to give input, even though I know his exact words would be, "Whatever you want, pretty girl!" Even if he had an opinion, I doubt he would tell me, just to be sure I get exactly what I want. He just loves me like that. I can't wait to see how much love he will have for his little girl. It will make my heart melt <3 

I'm in the process of getting our first care package together. Trying to add little things that I know he loves, 
along with a few items that I hope will cheer him up. I sure miss his smiling face. Phoenix drew this picture to include in the box. It is our family. From left to right is Phoenix, Sebastian (said he had the biggest head because he 'knows everything' and then a super tall Matt and Mommy. He said I should add tape so he can hang it up in his tent. I might do that! He also made this picture of a 'colorful Matt' shooting bad guys. I thought he had bunny ears but Phoenix claims that is his 'rainbow mohawk'. I don't dare question him ;)

The dog has slipped into a deep depression already. Whimpering and whining, not eating and over sleeping (actually, that kind of sounds like me, minus sleeping!). Not sure how they know but he does. The cat has been extra needy as well. Crying all afternoon and sitting in the window. Just proof that we all miss him.

He finally made it to Kyrgyzstan. Still a long travel ahead so I hope he gets some much needed sleep. The connection is terrible so I can barely hear him when he calls. I guess its better than not hearing him at all.

On an more positive note, the USO posted pictures of soldiers during their layover in Maine. I found mine!! 
He is so handsome and even gave a smile! I miss this face so very much. I dream of the day I can rub my hand over your face and kiss those lips. You make me so very proud. Your hard work and dedication to your job and your family is everything anyone could envy. I love you and miss you more each day.

Off to add another marble to our deployment jar! 


  1. I miss you guys very much! I enjoy reading about what you guys are doing and how everything is going. It makes me feel like poop and makes me happy at the same time, if that makes any sense. Stay positive, my love. Communication will definitely be better once I get to where I'm going and get settled in. I love you most!

    1. I miss you most! I like that I can keep you updated with a post and pictures all in one spot. It shouldn't make you feel like 'poop'. Its a happy thing and it makes me feel better to know I can keep you connected. You are my rock. I feel weak without you. Hurry home! I love you <3 (flutter)

  2. I'm so glad you started a blog (: Matt is right, communication is much better (usually) once they are settled. And once you have somewhat of a routine (i.e. roll out of bed being sad, getting happy because you get to talk to him, sad because you have to STOP talking to him, happy because your boys make you smile when they get home, sad because you miss Matt coming home from work, and then happy and sad when you go to bed at night because you reallllly wish he was there, but you also know that you are one day closer to him actually being there). Get my drift? (: But I digress. *High five* for us surviving day two!

    1. I only made it through with a smile because it was nice to have your company. Otherwise, instead of being a hermit, I would have been a sad hermit. We just won't discuss the one crying episode at the table ;)

  3. I love reading this. (Wish you didnt have to be writing it though!!!) I should have done something like this (or all of your ideas) the last 2 deployments. Might have made things easier. I hope you find some sleep tonight. I have a big pregnancy body pillow if you'd like to borrow it. Carly has it right now but isn't using it. :)